Note she said what's important to her. I'll get back to that in a minute.
I've been reflecting a lot these past few days. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I'm always reflecting. Or ruminating. Or worrying. Or just thinking too much in general. But I digress...
I've been specifically reflecting on what I want out of the next five years of my life, what I want to accomplish, and what specific, measurable goals I need to set. This is hard for me because while I like to plan, I've learned that when the first shot is fired, most battle plans go out the window. And then I stress a LOT about not following the plan exactly. Ugh.
And the best career and life decisions I've ever made were spur of the moment and out of the blue opportunities. Did I want those things to happen? Had I been working toward making those things happen? Had I set goals and trudged through arduous days to achieve those opportunities? The simple and somewhat disturbing answer is no. No, I did not.
So that leaves me with a dilemma: okay, so if I do all this planning and goal setting and painfully dig through my innards to reveal my "truth", will it make a damn bit of difference? I mean, will it move me closer to my dreams or will it rob me of my sponteneity, and when I'm lying on the floor wheezing, will it kick me in the ribs and spit in my eye?
I know all the buzz phrases and new age spiritual talk about visualizing what you want, creating your own luck, repeating mantras, and sending out your intentions to the universe. I am one of those annoying people who posts that stuff and fills up your news feed with cosmic pictures of positive energy. Are you ready to barf yet? If not...wait for it...
I believe this crap. I do. I hear you wretching. But as I said at the beginning, the ugly truth is life is hard and all the platitudes in the world don't change that. What does? And should it be different? I sometimes wonder if the endless toil is necessary to mold us self-centered brutes into something other than entitled, bratty bores. Or is the endless cycle of life's battering waves meant to do something else? Something like a cleansing process? Or a purge?
And then I remember what my grandmother said, that she figured out what was important to her and stopped spending precious energy and time on what others thought was important. And I remember her answer to my follow-up question: How'd you figure out what was important to you?
"Missy, you'll know it when you lose it. And if you're lucky enough to ever find it again, you'll never let anything steal the time and energy you have to spend on it."
So. Wow. Yeah. That.